Here…but not!!

Hi All!

Yes, it’s here. The 50 finalists are about to be announced! We’ve come a long way together, haven’t we? We’ve had our ups and downs, like all good teams go through, but in the end there’s a lot of love and great support in this group.

I am honoured to be among you! I look forward to our continued growth together as we journey to our individual destinations.

And that’s the point. I wish every single person the best of luck, whether you make the top 50 or the top 6 or not. As I’ve started to live my dream, I understand more and more that Fiji makes no difference. For me, I WILL publish my first novel in the next year. I believe we can all live our dreams.

So, yes, we’re “here” where Mark posts the list of 50. Then we’ll be at the “here” where Mark posts the list of 6. I’m looking forward to getting to the “here” where we are ALL living our dreams. With talent, determination, support and, even a little luck, we can all get there.

Good luck!!

With love,

Life Changer Tracy

Square peg…round hole

Hi All!

The universe whispers to us when change is needed. If we don’t listen, the whisper turns to a normal speaking voice. If we still don’t listen, the universe uses its outside voice. And if we still don’t listen, it’s likely to scream at us and even deliver a harsh slap across the face as a side dish!

I’ve been delivered the side dish and it wasn’t very tasty!!

On Friday, I lost my second job in a row. The third in five years. I never thought I’d say that. I’m smart, I’m educated, I have a strong work ethic and I get along with my colleagues.

I finally get it—thanks universe! I am just not suited to working a 9-to-5 job. I was meant to work for myself. I was meant to write books in my own time and in my own way. I just can’t be what I’m not anymore.

The problem is, although I’m meant to work for myself, I don’t have good administrative skills, which you need to have in a business. Been there, done that. I don’t care about “the books” or updating databases. What I LOVE is to write and public speak/greet. That’s what I’m great at and that’s what I should be doing.

But the reality is, I have to be able to sustain myself. Money comes in handy for keeping roofs over heads and food in bellies!! And I have my husband to consider. He wants me to be my best, but he’d also like to see us stay afloat. Thus, I take on communications contracts (often I like them, but it’s not my heart’s desire) that will allow me to save enough so I can take time off to finish my first book.

At this point, I can sustain myself for a couple of months and I believe my book can be done if I work full time for two months on it. I’m self-disciplined and can make this happen. But it means that I can’t work a full time “regular” job at the same time.

I also know the route I need to take is with an agent. Self-publishing isn’t for me—I know the detailed work that goes into it and I haven’t got it in me. I simply haven’t got the skills. I’m done with feeling like a failure because I’m trying to do stuff I’m just not good at!

So, I need an agent. I’ve done my homework and have a list of agents who might be interested in my work, however I also know (from research) that I can’t submit until I am completely finished the manuscript.

What I don’t know is how long it can take for the review of my manuscript and, more importantly, when I might get paid for my work. I haven’t been able to glean that from my research. I don’t know how long I can sustain myself after the two month mark.

This is where the fear kicks in. I came from a family with very little money and I don’t want to go there again. And what if I can’t sell my book. I don’t want to lose my house and the few small things I own. AND I fear failing at the one thing I’ve always thought I was meant to do. What if my dream is not my reality???

And what if I do sell my book? Will I become “too big for my britches”, like my father always said. The People-With-Money-Are-Evil Syndrome. I’m torn. Most of me doesn’t care what my family thinks, but this small part is still the child who wants her family’s approval.

And yet most of me knows that I’m a fine writer—as good as many of the best-selling authors out there—who can see a positive future for herself. It sooo frustrating!! My brain/heart aches!

Here’s what I know for sure: I don’t want to sabotage myself anymore. I’ve been doing it way too long. The truth is, I’m exhausted from making the effort to sabotage myself!! Isn’t that crazy?!! Sabotage takes a lot of work! I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ANY MORE!

This is where I could use some mentoring. I have good support around me, but I could really use someone who can help me through these fears as I take this huge leap of faith. AND I could use a business mentor who can help me work through the business of selling a book.

I feel like once I’ve worked through the fear of failure/success once, the books that follow will come easily. I know myself very well and when I’m able to overcome a difficult, I then work to conquer it entirely. Within a year, I can see my series of children’s charity books come to life. I’ve written 2: I think I could have 6 written.

Mark, I so need your help. I know I can do a lot on my own. But I also know when to ask for help. I know what I’m meant to do. I know this square peg doesn’t want to try fitting into the round hole anymore. I know the time is NOW for change.

Thanks to a little push from the universe and some mentoring from you and your team, I can see it happening. When I am able to share my best self, I will naturally inspire others to do the same.

Life Changer, Tracy

Blueprint? WTF?!!

Hi All!

I just listened to Mark’s webinar. What the heck do we need a Blueprint for in order to change our lives??!! Don’t we just have to do it? Aren’t we supposed to take action? Not sit around creating a “Blueprint”!!

That’s a great question! Here’s the answer, as I see it:

No, you don’t HAVE to have a blueprint to change your life. You can take action and you might just get where you want to go AND you might just help others change too along the way.

I mean, you could build a house without a blueprint, couldn’t you? Sure the walls might be crooked, the foundation a crumbling mess, and the wiring a firefighter’s fantasy, but, hey, you did it without a blueprint!

I can picture the hysterical house I’d end up with—how about you? But even a great contractor is not likely to start a job without a blueprint, because he knows their inherent worth. Just as Mark, the intrepid contractor in our scenario, knows the worth of a blueprint. Why would he create a whole movement without one?! It’s the smart thing to do.

And, just like a contractor would organize all the right people for the various building tasks, Mark is organizing us in order to get a proper job done.

“But,” you say, “I can’t even lead myself, let alone be a ‘right person’ to lead other people!” The good news is, you are exactly the right people that Mark needs. You don’t have to be an expert. If that’s what Mark wanted, he’d have hired a bunch of psychologists!!

You are, however, the right people. Some of the stories I’ve read from this group are amazing. Many of you have lived a lot of life, which means you can relate to people. That’s a gift.

With the life experience AND the enthusiasm to change that this group has, we will be able to build groups all over world where dreams can be shared and taken action upon. Your dream as much as anyone else’s! You just have to see your own worth and your ability to be a leader in your community.

Imagine what we can build together: a Taj Mahal of change. Now THAT’s a Blueprint!

Life Changer Tracy

Did You Pass The Test?

Hi All!

Well, we’ve had a little hiccup in our awesome-let’s-change-the-whole-freakin-world-plan! What were your first thoughts? Thrilled that you still have a change to apply? Disappointed that you have to wait? Mad that plans have changed? Excited that there are even more awesome people out there to connect with? Or all of the above and more?!!

I have to admit that at first I was a little disappointed—I’m so excited I could pee myself!! I feel like a small child in a candy store, who’s been told “Now don’t touch anything!!!” I just didn’t want to wait another second!!

Thinking about my childish impatience reminded me of a childhood memory that is applicable to the recent This Is Your Life Change decision.

When I was a child, we often visited my great grandmother on Sundays. Gram would always find an excuse to send us to the store—a loaf of bread, some milk, any little thing—so she could give us money for a treat.

All four (or five, once my youngest sister was born!) happily did our errand and then stood at the candy counter. Even as a child, I was always curious about the differences in how we chose. My brother always bought a bag of chips, a pop, a chocolate bar. Something that was consumed before we left the store.

He was my polar opposite (my sisters, were somewhere in between). I would evaluate every sweet in the store. What did I like the most? What was the best deal? How much of my favourite would I give up for a really good deal?

I always took the longest to make my selections—but I always had the biggest bag of candy! To this day, I’m an amazing deal shopper!!

Amid the excitement of buying candy, my grandmother was never far from my thoughts. It was my habit not to touch my bag of candy until we returned to gram’s small cottage on Verney St. in Guelph, Ontario, Canada.

You see, I knew gram loved to see the candy we bought. It made her so happy that, although she couldn’t afford a lot, she could give us this small token of love. I would take out each candy and display it on her lap, proud of my good buys.

And I always shared my candy with her. Her favourite was jellied mint leaves and so I always made sure at least one found it’s way into my candy bag and then into her hand.

Did I want to scarf down a bag of chips immediately? Of course, I did! But I knew the rewards were greater if I was patient—both the tangible reward of a more impressive candy bag and the intangible reward of knowing I’d make my gram happy.

How does it relate to Vorovoro?

Of course I want to know the results of This Is Your Life Change RIGHT NOW!!! Of course I want to go to Fiji!! Of course I want to work with mind-blowing coaches that can help me over the stumbling block I’m currently facing!

But when all is said and done, my choices will still be the same whether it takes Mark and his team 1 week, 1 month or 1 year to make the decision. I will continue to dream. I will continue to strive for the best of myself. I will continue to find ways to make a difference in the lives of others—no matter how big or how small.

This “incident” is a gift. It allows us to examine how we react to “bad” news. It shows us how we deal with the unexpected. It shows us how we deal with disappointment and, most especially, change.

It’s OK if our first reaction to the news that This Is Your Life Change had to make a slight adjustment wasn’t instantly positive (maybe it was and that’s great too!). But it’s what you and I did about our reaction that shows our character. Can we embrace the unexpected and turn it into something even better (i.e. more great followers)? Can we defer gratification with an eye to longer term rewards that create real change?

Life Changer Tracy

Are You On Fire?

Hi All!

Are you ready? I mean really ready? I mean so ready for Vorovoro you sway with the palm trees in your sleep?! So ready that if you don’t get there, you are going to bust?

Have you readied yourself for being on Vorovoro? Though I’ve never had children, I bet a full-on change opportunity like This Is Your Life Change is like having a baby!! You can’t be truly ready for what it’s going to be like—but you know it’s gonna hurt like hell!! But WHAT a reward!!!

I picture Vorovoro like this: Brutal. Honest. Raw. Real. Beautiful. Painful. Beautiful. Whirlwind crazy. Beautiful.

No matter how tough it is, it’s going to be, in the end, beautiful.

But what if, like about 2,017 of your new friends (and counting!), you don’t get this amazing opportunity? Will it be over? Will you cry your eyes out and give up? Will you pout and say “It’s not fair!” and proceed into a downward spiral of depression?

OR are you really ready to “put your money where your mouth is?” Are you really ready for change? Has This Is Your Life Change reignited the fire in your belly and you now HAVE to change? You HAVE to or you are going to bust!!

That’s great because that’s where I am and I want lots of company on my journey!!

I’ve overcome a lot in my life but now it’s time to do more than overcome. For 51 years I’ve allowed myself to be the person who can overcome anything. That’s the label I gave myself—and it’s a pretty good one.

But it’s time. It’s time to go further. It’s time to succeed the way I’ve always known—since I was a small child—I was meant to. It’s time to get out of my comfort zone of “overcoming”. It’s time to be my greatest self—with or without Mark Bowness and his team.

I hope you join me for the ride!!

Life Changer Tracy

Negativity Got You Down?

Hi All!

I left work about 4:45 pm yesterday, open the doors of my office building, and was met with the -40 C frozen hell that is Ottawa right now. If you don’t come from a cold climate, well, just stay where you are, because you don’t want to be here in the winter!!! (Do come in the summer, though, because it’s beautiful!)

I walked a block north to catch my bus, fighting against the wind tunnel made by high rise government buildings. I notice that there seemed to be many more people waiting than usual. “Hmmmn,” I think “I wonder if there’s a hockey game tonight at the Canadian Tire Centre”.

I wait. And wait some more. This is unusual. I wait some more. I’m getting really cold. Finally, I see “97 Bayshore”…and watch as it drives past me, packed to near breaking point. It figures! I just want to get home!!

This is very strange. Another 97 bus…drives by. I can’t feel any of my extremities now. I can feel my core temperature dropping. I look at other people to see if they are as cold as I am. I can’t see most of them because they have hoods pulled as far down as possible or scarfs wrapped around their faces.

FINALLY, a third 97 bus arrives…and passes. WHAT is going on? I know I cannot be out here for much longer.

I see a local bus that will get me to a nearby mall where I can call my husband to come and get me. It’s packed, but at least it stops! I force my way onto it. I don’t care if I’m hanging halfway out of the bus, I’m getting on this one!

I manage to wedge myself in and eventually get to the mall. I call my husband, I make it home to a steaming hot bath, and frozen tragedy is averted.

So why am I telling you this story? I just wondered how many of you picked out my flawed thinking in the third paragraph. Go back and look…I’ll wait.

“It figures.” What a loathsome phrase!

You see, for years, I waited for the other shoe to drop. From the time I was very small, I learned that things will always go wrong, no matter how you try to make them right. My father’s favourite saying was/is, “If there was a lottery and we had the only ticket and won, something would happen and we wouldn’t get our prize. The lottery office would burn down. Something.”

Talk about negative thinking!

I decided a long time ago, that I was going to turn that thinking around. So, every time I caught myself saying something negative, like “It figures!” I turned it into a positive.  It took a really long time! At first, I could only watch my thoughts for 15 minutes or 1/2 an hour. But eventually, I was doing it all the time, until the negative thoughts no longer came automatically. I kept at it until the first thought was a positive one.

So what was different yesterday? Perhaps it was that I got out of work a little later than usual. Perhaps it was the addition of the extreme cold. Perhaps my self-esteem is suffering a little because I’m in a new job.

I don’t actually know the reason and I don’t really care. I am glad, though, it happened for three reasons:

1. It reminds me how far I’ve come. That USED to be my normal thought process. NOW negative thoughts are caught pretty quickly.
2. It reminds me that I need to continue to be vigilant about being positive because I’m human and I can (and will) slip up.
3. I liked my response to my negativity.My first thought was “It figures!” My second thought was “No it doesn’t! MOST days I catch the bus without a hitch. THAT’s the usual. So, NO It doesn’t figure!” I caught the negative before it tumbled into a downward spiral.

What about you? Do you frequently think the worst will happen? How did you learn it? Do you enjoy being that way (do you get something out of it, like being a martyr and therefore getting sympathy)? What are you willing to do to change it?

Life Changer Tracy

Silly Random Life Changer Thoughts

Hi All!

As I’m sure it has been for you, It’s been an interesting few weeks as I participate in the This Is Your Life Change adventure. In the last couple of days I’ve been reflecting on where I am at this point.

It’s not easy to say! Lots of thoughts and emotions are running wild! This would be a typical day of randomness:

• I feel excited.
• I feel scared (what if I actually got chosen? What then? Am I ready? Of course I am! How do I know? What if I’m not?!)
• What if I don’t get picked? Will I be devastated? Of course not! Disappointed, yes, but it doesn’t change my drive! Are you sure?! ARGHHH!
• I am sooooo thrilled to meet all these kindred spirits. I wish I could meet them all in person! Rent a cruise ship and meet up in the Mediterranean!
• I feel wise…and foolish.
• Would I be actually working on my books in Vorovoro or would it be more general business-related activities (the book business is pretty specific, so would they be able to help with that?), fitness, etc.?
• I feel unsettled in my own skin. Haven’t felt that way in a while.
• What if I don’t like Mark and his team when I meet them in Vorovoro? REALLY?! Even if you didn’t, would it matter?!!
• I feel worthy and maybe-not-as-worthy as other participants.
• It’s -41C. I hate this weather! PLEASE choose me to come to Vorovoro!
• What should I write about in my blog today? How much should I participate in the Facebook page? I mean, am I getting annoying with all these blog posts and Facebook comments?!! Could be. Well, that’s the advantage of not meeting these people face-to-face: If they think you’re annoying–OH WELL! Does that sound mean?
• I soooooo want to work on myself without interruptions–stupid stuff like the groceries and work and doing my taxes (blek!!)!!
• I wonder if anyone else is thinking all these dumb thoughts!
• How is Mark (and his team) going to choose only 6 people–out of 2,000?!! That’s crazy! Better them than me!
• How would I set myself up in Vorovoro? What would I want to work on first? Or would the team just do what they wanted? Does it matter?
• If I could only bring one thing to Vorovoro, what would it be? Toothbrush? No, I could use a stick. What couldn’t I do without? Writing pad with pen. I’m naked without them! (Is that considered two things? If you’re a writer, it’s only one!).
• Isn’t it good that no one gets voted off, like “Survivor” (and you’re probably allowed to bring more than one thing because it’s NOT “Survivor”!)!!!
• Boy, I’m writing a lot of “!!!!!!!!” Writers often say not to use them because you’re not supposed to tell your reader how to feel. I think that’s wrong…and backwards. I’m not telling anyone how to feel. This is just how I feel. If I’m excited, I’m going to use punctuation!!!???()(*_$# #&*)!

I could go on and on and on (but then you would probably get annoyed!!). But I guess to sum it up: This Is Your Life Change has me thinking a lot. Some really useless stuff and some pretty insightful stuff. If putting a lot more thought into my life and the series of books I’m writing is all that comes out of this, it’s still great! AND, I’ve met a community of like-minded people. Only pros, no cons!

No matter what happens, having this carrot dangled in front of me only makes me want my dream to come true more and if the possibility of this opportunity makes me think about it and then create it? Wow! Just wow!

Is your head spinning yet? Mine is!!!

Life Changer Tracy

Obstacles-Smobstacles!

Hi All!

I want to follow up on what Mike Gardner posted on Facebook today, because it relates to my post here yesterday. Mike said, “When life puts mountains in your way, you can waste your time asking why; or spend your time climbing over them, you choose.”

I’ve had a lot of obstacles in my life and I do think you need to look closely at why those obstacles keep appearing—especially when there are obstacle patterns that are obvious. Like the same bad relationships or other choices.

I think you do need to ask “Why” or even “Why me”. I’ve had to stare at myself in the mirror, strip my soul naked, in order to understand why I do the things I do. It is primarily that navel-gazing, that has lead to profound change.

But there comes a time when navel-gazing becomes self-indulgence. There’s a fine line and one that’s different for everyone. We all know instinctively, however, when we’ve crossed the line from taking a serious look at ourselves to wallowing!

When I realize I’m wallowing, that’s when I know it’s time for action. I now need to actually do something about the problem.

One of my fears is a fear of heights, so I’ll use that as an example. If I was coaching you, I’d ask “Why are you afraid of heights? Is it related to a trauma in your life? Do you feel like you might jump to your death? Or something completely different?”

My fear of heights came from a particular moment in my early life and was then perpetuated throughout the years. I also had vertigo, which gave me a spinning feeling whenever I looked from a height. The realization of why I was afraid, alone, took some of the fear away. But I still avoided heights whenever possible!

You see, understanding my fear wasn’t enough. I needed to challenge my fear. I needed to do something about it! At first, I stood on step ladders—true story—I was afraid of even getting up on a step ladder! Then I started looking over balconies.

Over time, however, I became restless to really push the envelop, so I took a weekend rock climbing course. With the help of a very caring instructor (who is now my husband, Pierre–but that’s a different story!!), I was able to work through each moment I froze on the rock face.

I continued to climb, which helped the vertigo tremendously, and eventually I was able to go on climbing vacations. The tallest rock face I’ve climbed thus far is over 700 feet!! For me, this is tremendous progress. Although I’m not completely “over” my fear of heights, it’s lessened to the point where it doesn’t keep me from living an adventurous life. I continue to do things that challenge this fear to keep it in check.

Working on my fear of heights has helped me in all areas of my life. When I’m up against any obstacle, I apply the same method: I analyze the problem and then I think ‘What can I do to overcome it?’

Lately, I’ve have the greatest obstacle of my life to overcome: how do I stop the self-sabotage that is holding back my best self? I feel my best self on the other side of some small step, but I can’t quite get there. It’s driving me mad!!! This is where This Is Your Life Change comes in. It’s time to ask for help.

What obstacle currently holds you back, why, and what can you do to overcome it?

A final thought: We all have obstacles throughout our lives. It’s in the overcoming of them that makes us feel alive.

Life Changer Tracy

 

Change = Doing

Hi All…

Today I heard the sad news that an old high school friend had died a couple of days ago. I learned Norma Jean had been sick for some time. I feel ashamed that I didn’t know.

After we graduated high school, our lives went in different directions. I went to Ottawa to pursue a Journalism degree and she went, well, I’m not sure. As these things often happen, I lost touch pretty quickly, immersing myself in school and then career. Every so often I’d think, ‘I wonder what ever happened to Norma Jean?’ But I never called to find out. I guess I thought one day, we’d just reconnect somehow.

I had that opportunity when, in 2012, we had a high school reunion. I saw Norma Jean at the Saturday night party and said a quick “hello”, but I did not take the time to sit down and really talk to her. If I had, perhaps I’d have known that she was fighting for her life.

The next morning, several of us, including Norma Jean, went out for breakfast…and still it was idle banter. It somehow seemed like these people were just always going to be there. They aren’t.

I’ve always believed that it’s important to make the most out of every opportunity given and, when not given, to create it for yourself. In the case of Norma Jean, I did neither.

I know I’m better than that. I know I don’t normally let opportunities slip through my fingers. I know I most often make things happen for myself. I know I most definitely don’t take life for granted.

I know, more than anything else, that if you want to make a difference in your life and a difference in at least one other person’s life, you actually have to do something! I’m sorry, Norma Jean, for not doing my best. But thank you for helping me to remember that life isn’t a noun. It’s an action verb.

Life Changer Tracy

May your journey be a peaceful one, Norma Jean. I’ll miss you. 

Change? Why Bother?

Hi All!

Why bother? Because we, as humans, can’t NOT bother!! The same reason George Mallory climbed Everest: “Because it’s there!”

We humans are a strange bunch!—a bewildering mystery, wrapped in an enigma with a gooey mess of conundrum in the centre! We’re as incongruous as we are inconsistent as we are illogical!

It’s amazing we didn’t die off in the cave days!

 But don’t give up on us just yet because the thing that makes us so annoying is also the thing that keeps us progressing! In our souls, it’s not enough to just keep going. At the gooey conundrum centre, we also need more—even if we don’t know what the more is!

It’s soooo confusing! I like what Alan Watts (philosopher/writer/speaker) said: “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” The same can be said of humanity—the only way to make sense out of being human is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.

We’re all part of So This Is Your Life Change because we can’t NOT! So go with it, join the dance, and when you feel confused, know that every person on the planet is right there being just as confused as you are!

Life Changer Tracy